Want to hear something funny? God listens to Coldplay. How do I know? Read on and I’ll explain.
I’ve shared my own story of living with eating disorders and bulimia since I was 11. I am now fully recovered and have been free for over ten months. You can read more about my story on The Fight For Beauty.
In the midst of my journey one morning, I woke up feeling distraught. It had been a long, long battle that I’d been fighting and it would almost always win and leave me feeling hopeless, for lack of a better word. I decided that instead of allowing myself to get engrossed in self pity, that I would go for a walk. While walking, I began talking to God and just being honest. “God, I feel fat. I feel ugly. I feel like a deadbeat. I feel fat. I feel ugly” and so on. So quietly I heard him say, “Ok, but ask me how I feel about you.”
Ugh. Most annoying response ever. Growing up in the church, we have recited phrases and verses like “We are fearfully and wonderfully made” and “God thinks you’re beautiful.” Sadly, the truth behind those words gets overshadowed by its monotonous repetition. So, when God told me to ask him what he thought of me, I expected to hear one of the above Sunday school type answers.
After a bit of stalling, I reluctantly asked. Immediately I heard the opening line to the song “Yellow” by Coldplay. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you…“
It came so natually to my head that I thought, “I haven’t even thought of that song in years. That’s random” and proceeded to try to hear from The Lord again about how he felt about me. Then I realized, that song was His answer. That was God speaking to me. My second thought was, “God listens to Coldplay?”
I decided to pull up the song on itunes and listen to it. As I did, tears began to fall down my face. Each word resonated so deeply within me. In our culture, girls live with this internal desire to be chosen by someone; to be the girl that rockstars write heartfelt love songs about, or the one that a prince would risk his life fighting off dragons and evil queens for. For the first time ever, I felt like I was that girl.
“Your skin and bones turn into something beautiful. Do you know, you know I love you so…And you know,
for you I’d bleed myself dry...”
After that experience, my life began to change drastically. For the first time, Jesus was real. He spoke to me. He picked one of the world’s most well known songs and dedicated to me. “Yellow” will always have a deeper meaning to me. My friend,Kainos, has some of her own recording equipment and offered to help me record a cover of it. Here it is for you to listen to if you’d like. I hope you enjoy it and that you too have your own “Yellow” experience.
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